My first blog post ! This first one is something that has been weighing on my heart for a long time. I know that it's a normal part of life, but when I tell you what it is, you will probably nod in understanding. The future.
Before I start on this, I want to share something Corrie Ten Boom wrote about in her book, "The Hiding Place".
"At last he stood up, lifted his traveling case from the rack over our heads, and set it on the floor. "Will you carry it off the train, Corrie ?" he said. I stood up and tugged at it. It was crammed with the watches and spare parts he had purchased that morning. "It's too heavy," I said. "Yes," he said. "And it would be a pretty poor father who would ask his little girl to carry such a load. It's the same way, Corrie, with knowledge. Some knowledge is too heavy for children. When you are older and stronger you can bear it. For now you must trust me to carry it for you." And I was satisfied. More than satisfied--wonderfully at peace. There were answers to this and all my hard questions--for now I was content to leave them in my father's keeping."
Since my junior year started, I have been plagued with worry. I knew questions would start coming to me. They were basically all the same. "So, where are you going to college at ?" "What will you major in ?" And all these people who asked this were well-meaning, I know. And then there were the suggestions. All the way from, "You should go to this Bible college, because almost everyone meets their husband there !" and "You should go to this college, because they offer such a great variety of what I know you would be good at ! It would help you get a good, well paying job once you get out of college !"
Aaaahhh !!! And then there's my thoughts. Ok, more like worries. Such as, what should I major in; what college should I go to; where will I get the money from; who will I marry; how do I know what God wants me to do; Am I following His will for my life; how will this help others and impact them ? I've been praying for what has seemed like forever. No, this isn't an announcement that I know now. But rather, what I've been really actually wanting this whole time. Peace.
A few days ago, I was sitting in the car waiting for my dad's ending of his auction to be done, and then we were all going out to supper as a family. I hadn't brought anything to do while waiting, and I was frustrated. As I look back now, I can see why it was actually a good thing. It took me from distractions to talking with my Father. I didn't really want to at first. I was just so annoyed for some reason. I put headphones in my ears to listen to music. What came on ? Worship music. It started me reflecting on life and the future. I started talking with Jesus about it all. "Lord, I just don't understand. I'm scared and confused, and I just don't really know what to do. I want to go to college, but which one ? I don't know what to major in or really what I'm interested in doing, and I'm visiting a college pretty soon. I don't know what to do." Then, I heard something. Not really audibly, but it just came to me like a whisper in my heart. "Jesus knows." Hmm. Then again, but slightly different. "Jesus knows already every step your going to take, and He's guiding you." Now, I've heard this before, so many times. But there's a difference between knowing in your mind and knowing in your heart. God gave me suddenly such a overwhelming peace in my heart. He knows. It made me smile. Being patient for His timing suddenly became so sweet to me. Trusting Him suddenly tore apart my worry and deep fear. Instead of deep fear came deep peace.
This brings back Corrie Ten Boom's story at the beginning that I put down. Some knowledge, knowledge about the future, is too big for me. It's too heavy for me to carry. I tried, but I got no where with the baggage, because of it's heaviness. My Father carries it now. And suddenly, I can move. I can worship, because He has all of me now. He carries the burden, and now all I need do is walk with Him. "You guide me with Your counsel, leading me to a glorious destiny."
"The name of the Lord is a strong tower; the righteous man runs into it and is safe." (Proverbs 18:10)
"And without faith it is impossible to please Him, for whoever would draw near to God must believe that He exists and that He rewards those who seek Him." (Hebrews 11:6)
So, just a word of encouragement to all of you out there. Whether you're in college already, in high school, or just seeking for what God wants you to do next. Tell Him what your worried and confused about. Then ask Him to carry that burden for you. Trust Him. He loves you, and His ways our higher than ours. You can trust Him with your future.
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways, acknowledge Him, and He will direct your paths."
"And they that wait on the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles. They shall run and not grow weary; they shall walk and not faint."
"Wait, I say, wait upon the Lord !"
"Trust in Him, and He will act."
